Help the Independent Child in Math - Without Pulling Your Hair Out

Do you agonize about if and when to offer math help to your child? If so, keep reading.

Chloe’s first grade teacher does not realize Chloe feels frustrated by a math problem until she scribbles all over the worksheet.

When ten-year old Jackson’s math homework answers don’t match the answer key, instead of asking for help finding his mistake, he proclaims, “the key is wrong.”

Fifteen-year old Amber will try to bend reality to fit her independent spirit. She would argue 10 x 22 = 2,200 if it meant avoiding asking for help in algebra.

If any of these behaviors sound familiar to you, you may be the proud parent of a fiercely independent child. These children often go to great lengths to avoid getting help or instruction. They say, “I can do it myself!” Parents quickly learn that teaching a fiercely independent child can cause premature aging.

Isn’t Independent Learning a Good Thing?

Yes, independent learners often do well in math. There are many benefits to being an independent learner including:

• They often work to understand math at a conceptual level because they take charge of their own learning. This depth of understanding leads to a high level of confidence in their own abilities.
• They build intrinsic motivation because they derive internal satisfaction from their success.
• They don’t blindly follow advice or prescribed algorithms and thus they often invent novel ways to approach math so it makes sense to them.
• Their self-reliance gives them insights into their own strengths and weaknesses. They learn to play to their strengths.
• When they are ready for help, they know how to ask the right questions to get themselves on track.
• If they work hard persistently, they can excel beyond anyone’s expectations.

Sounds Great! What is the Problem?

Independent children may stagnate in math if they refuse the guidance that will help them excel. A fiercely independent child with perfectionistic tendencies may get frustrated and give up before they figure things out on their own. They often learn to compensate for their weaknesses so learning gaps go undetected. Many parents and teachers feel uncomfortable relinquishing control and taking on the role as facilitator.

Foster Independent Learning in Math without the Negatives

At Mathnasium of Littleton we pinpointed three ways to foster independent learning without letting children stagnate or give up. Use these tips to facilitate learning the way we do at Mathnasium of Littleton.

1.      Individualized pacing - When a child gets to a spot in math where they are overwhelmed, they can go backward a few steps in the curriculum. Going backward, or spending more time on a concept, allows kids to figure things out on their own and avoid hearing a long explanation.

Students at Mathnasium have a binder with personalized lesson plans based on an initial assessment. As students progress, the instructors at Mathnasium add and subtract lessons based on their proven level of mastery of each math skill. Unlike in most classrooms, Mathnasium students have the flexibility to stay with a concept as long as needed, but never longer than necessary. If a student completes the work accurately, he or she takes a small step forward in the curriculum. The step is just enough to provide an opportunity for growth. If the student makes mistakes, the instructor gently guides the student to figure out how and why they made the mistake. They may also decide to provide more opportunities to master that concept or skill.

2.      Physical and Mental space - Independent learners cringe and shut down when someone hovers over their shoulder asking, “Did you get it right?” “Do you understand?” “Can I help?” There is a fine line between being available and hovering. An independent learner will let you know (not always politely) when you have crossed that line. Instructors at Mathnasium know a student is ready for feedback when the student raises their hand or if a student is not progressing. Otherwise, instructors let students work without interruption. This system only works because of the individualized pacing.

3.      Positive messaging and feedback- Even independent learners like to hear what they are doing well, especially when they make mistakes. Feedback to foster independence is specific and action oriented. Rather than saying, “Good try, but you made a mistake” a Mathnasium instructor might say “Wow, you really worked on this a long time. You showed great perseverance. I notice you multiplied here instead of dividing. Can you explain that to me?”  

If you are pulling your hair out trying to help an independent learner succeed at math, read more about the Mathnasium Method. Our students’ parents love that their fiercely independent children excel in math while they can relax or get something done.

Give us a call today 303-979-9077 or click the link below to find out how we can help your fiercely independent child succeed in math.

Other articles you might like include:

Push Beyond the Plateau for Math Success

3 Amazing Kids Using Math and Science to Make an Impact

Use Praise Correctly to Increase Math Confidence

How Math Concepts and Math Skills Work Together and Why You Should Care

Lindsey's Secret: She Brings Her Child to Mathnasium

6 Tips to Help Your Perfectionist Child Thrive in Math

Where is Your Child on the Motivational Ladder?

Mindset Encouraging Mathematical Reasoning and Creativity

Give Your Child the Joy of Success in Math

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