This is a great article that tells us, as parents, what we don't want to hear, but really need to know. Being a helicopter parent serves its purpose in the moment, but can be detrimental in the big picture of "life." At Mathnasium of La Jolla, we realize this. The Mathnasium Method takes it into account!
“We want so badly to help them by shepherding them from milestone to milestone and by shielding them from failure and pain. But overhelping causes harm,” she writes. “It can leave young adults without the strengths of skill, will and character that are needed to know themselves and to craft a life.”
Mathnasium of La Jolla is not a traditional tutoring center, as many assume. We are a learning center. We teach kids the skills to be successful. We do not give the homework answers, we want our students to leave knowing they completed the work themselves (with our ongoing support, of course!) because they are the ones who take the tests. How else can you build confidence and independence in this deep and broad subject?
While we offer private tutoring, it has its time and place. In general, though, only 3% of our struggling students come for a private session because they understand their issue isn't really with tonight's homework. It's with the scope of math they have experienced and how it converges in their current class. If you don't cure the problem, then the bandaid will only last so long. Building on the prerequisite skills is the remedy! Every session our students focus on 1-3 skills before attacking homework or test preparation to their wheelhouse is always trending in the right direction.
Some interesting statements that resonated for me from the article are:
“Our job as a parent is to put ourselves out of a job,” she said. “We need to know that our children have the wherewithal to get up in the morning and take care."
“If you’re arguing with teachers and principals and coaches and umpires all the time, it’s a sign you’re a little too invested,” she said. “When we’re doing all the arguing, we are not teaching our kids to advocate for themselves.”
Stop doing their homework. Enough said. And how can parents help their children become self-sufficient? Teach them the skills they’ll need in real life and give them enough leash to practice those skills on their own.
Check out the article here. It even has a quiz to self-assess if you are a helicopter parent: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/education/wp/2015/10/16/former-stanford-dean-explains-why-helicopter-parenting-is-ruining-a-generation-of-children/
(858) 291-8186
(858) 291-8186
