6 Tips to Help Your Perfectionist Child Thrive in Math

Sep 28, 2017 | Parker

Children with perfectionist tendencies often have a hard time taking risks because they don’t like to make mistakes. While Mathnasium of Parker makes every effort to create opportunities for success, we also know making mistakes and reaching outside of one’s comfort zone are important parts of the learning process. We have a “bag of tricks” to minimize the emotional trauma of mistakes and maximize learning.

It includes:

1. Access to pencils and erasers- Erasing evidence of a mistake usually makes a perfectionist feel much better. They still learn from the mistake. They just don’t need to see the mistake anymore. We also teach them habits to reduce mistakes.

2.   Access to rulers, protractors, graph paper- Some children get upset and anxious when their writing isn’t orderly and straight. Having the tools to draw straight lines and stay organized keeps them calm enough to concentrate on the math.

3.   Low stakes learning- Everyone progresses at their own speed. It doesn’t matter if it takes 1 lesson or 10 lessons to master a skill. At Mathnasium of Parker, we call this repetition without expectation.

4.   No comparisons to other children- Other students at Mathnasium don’t know what skills anyone else is working on. Other children have no idea what mistakes were made. They can only compare their progress to themselves and we make sure they know it when they are progressing.

5.   Gentle Feedback and Praise- Perfectionists are usually their own worst critics. We focus our praise on a child's actions, not who they are. We encourage children to start noticing their own positive actions.

6.   Math and Homework Strategies- Sometimes kids with perfectionist tendencies get paralyzed. Our instructors nudge them along gently, showing them strategies for when they get stuck.

If you are a parent of a perfectionist you might be screaming in your head right now, “I use all those tools too and my kid still drives himself/herself (and me) crazy with math homework!!!”  Set up a time talk with your child, using our conversation guide from our articles, Want to See Your Children Smile When Doing Math Homework? Our center doesn’t trigger the same type of emotional reactions from kids that working on math at home often does. Simply being a different and neutral setting makes it easier for most kids to stay calm and focus on learning. And once they increase their confidence in math, you may see them increasing confidence in other areas.

Still skeptical? Come on in and talk with us. Let your perfectionist child try out our center one time for free. Please call ahead of time so we have materials ready! 303-840-1184.

Other resources about children who have perfectionist tendencies.

https://www.todaysparent.com/family/family-health/nobodys-perfect-how-to-handle-your-childs-perfectionism/

https://www.kellybear.com/TeacherArticles/TeacherTip53.html

https://www.childandfamilymentalhealth.com/child-development/from-crying-to-trying-tools-for-managing-perfectionism/

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