How Do I Help My Struggling Child?

Written by Troy Makous, Owner/Director of Mathnasium

Parents are always looking for ways to build math proficiency--and more importantly--confidence. There is more than meets the eye. If you have tried different methods that haven't worked, or you are not sure where to start, this article is for you. 

Step 1: Shift Your Personal Attitude Toward Math

The first thing I want parents to understand is that for kids to be successful in anything, they need their parents to indicate that it is doable. The best way to do that is to speak about math in such a way that you don’t make it seem like it’s something that is difficult. I meet so many parents who will say to me, "Oh, well, I’m not good at math, so it makes sense that my kid is not good at math." This is a completely unscientific fallacy that is pervasive in American culture and is extremely detrimental to the kids.

The idea that math is genetic—that you’re born with it or without it—is false. While not every person is built for high-level 400-level math classes in college, every single person, barring a disability, is capable of learning math up through Algebra, if not through Calculus 1. The worst thing you can do for your kid is say to them that you yourself are not good at math. They look up to you. You are their world. If you say you aren’t good at it, they think, "why should I be?" If you feel math isn't your strength, that was a shortcoming of your education, not a reflection of you. Cut that talk out of your vocabulary and maybe even work on math with them to make it a family activity.

I promise the shift in tone will make a huge difference. 

Step 2: Make Math a Family Routine 

My second piece of advice is to make math a family routine and incorporate it into your child’s life. This is particularly important nowadays because of the prevalence of technology and digital access. We live in a world of digital transactions—cashless systems, "just Google it," DoorDash, and ChatGPT. While the world is more convenient, many argue we don't need math anymore, but the truth is that not challenging the child’s brain stunts their intellectual growth. Additionally, you do still need number sense to operate in this world and that is never going away.

The best thing you can do is engage your child at home and make math part of everyday life.  When you’re at a restaurant, have your kids calculate the tip for the server. You’d be amazed how many students in high school not only can’t calculate a percentage but don’t even know what it means. Think about the impact that will have on their lives. When you go to the grocery store, bring your kid and have them look at the prices and unit prices. Have them think about value: "If we need three apples, is it more cost-effective to buy them in a bag or individually?" Don’t just let numbers happen behind the scenes; make sure your kids are engaged with them.

Part 3: Identify the Root Cause 

Once you’ve changed the attitude and integrated math into daily life, you have to figure out where your kid actually stands with math. It’s tempting to just ask their teacher, but the reality is the teacher often doesn't know. That’s not because the teacher is incapable; it’s because they are part of an educational system that moves kids grade-by-grade as a cohort, even when their skills aren't moving at the same pace. A fourth-grade teacher is realistically dealing with kids ranging from a first-grade to a sixth-grade level of math capacity. You can have a kid getting an "A" in school who is actually behind in math.

Your job as a parent is to figure out what your kid needs to work on. It’s like sports—if a coach wants to make you a better baseball player, they first need to see if you’re a good batter but a poor fielder or vice versa. We approach math the same way: find the problem before trying to solve it. To do this yourself, have your kid do math verbally. Don’t focus on memorization—math isn't about memorized facts, it’s about conceptual understanding. Ask them to add numbers like 8+5 or 99+11. Can they do it quickly in their head without using their fingers? Can they explain how they got there? Can they do multiplication tables without singing a song or skip-counting? Kids have to build a foundational understanding of numbers to do anything else. Often, parents struggle with why their kid isn't getting better at Algebra, and it's because the kid doesn't actually understand fractions, multiplication, or order of operations, not because they can’t do Algebra. You have to find the problem first. 

Step 4: Create an Environment for Success 

The fourth and final step is creating an environment for your kid to thrive. Once you’ve shifted the attitude, integrated the math, and identified the underlying problems, you need an incentive for them to do the work. A kid who is struggling with math isn't going to work on it just because they are told to; they don't want to do it. Instead of arguing with them, incentivize them. Create or find an environment that actually engages them.

This is what we do at Mathnasium. We are experts at diagnosing the problem and creating an environment to incentivize the students. If you choose to go that route at home, you have to create the right incentive and an environment where they can struggle but not suffer. If not, I encourage you to book an assessment with us to help your child thrive. They are capable; they just haven’t yet worked on the right content in the right way. Your child deserves to feel confident!