With baseball season in full swing, I wanted to share a creative writing piece I did in college. It combines two of the things I love, math and baseball. I added the glossary of math terms.
“Here we are at Galois Fieldâ‚ on this beautiful Sunday afternoon with the temperature a pleasant 22 degrees. Today we have the baseball confrontation of the season.” “I’m Chuck Forty, along with my partner Howard Cosineâ‚‚, and we will bring to you the final matchup between the Idaho Integers₃ and the Rhode Island Rationalsâ‚„. We’ll be right back with the starting lineups.”
Today’s game is brought to you by Root Beer, the beer that’s not only for squares.
It is also brought to you by Grandma Shape Restaurants where the pi’sâ‚… enough to turn a person irrational₆.
“Here is the starting lineup for the visiting Idaho Integers.
Now, here is Howard Cosine to give you the starting lineup for the hosting Rhode Island Rationals, Howard?”
“ Thank you Chuck.
We will be right back with the start of the game after a word from one of our sponsors.”
"If you’re complexâ‚₈, rational, squareâ‚₉, irrational or just plain realâ‚‚â‚€ then Root Beer is the beer you should drink. The beer for a variableâ‚‚â‚ number of people."
“Here we are back again and ready to start the game. Cal Culus is finishing his warmup pitches and will soon be ready to deliver the first pitch to the Integer’s Pete Prime. Prime is batting .331 on the year, with 7 home runs and 47 runs batted in. He also leads the team in stolen bases with 89. Cal Culus has a record of 4!â‚‚â‚‚ and 3! and his earned run average is 3.25.”
“Well Chuck, I think if Cal can integrate₂₃ a lot of his pitches he should be able to control the Integer batters. On the other hand if the Interger batters can differentiateâ‚‚â‚„ between his pitches they might have some success.”
“The first pitch is a fastball and Pete takes a prime cut at the ball and misses it.”
“The second pitch is a curve and it is hit on an arcâ‚‚â‚… to the third baseman Fred Factor for the first out.”
“In steps the Integer leftfielder Victor Vector. He has really been in a slump recently. He has been hitting the ball hard but right at someone. He’s hoping he can break out of his slump against Cal Culus tonight. He has always had pretty good luck against Cal. In his career against Culus he is hitting a whopping .750 with 5 homeruns and a few of those were of large magnitudes₂₆.”
“The first pitch to Vector is a changeup and Victor jumps on it and sends it a long way to centerfield. George Graph is back, he’s back, way back, he’s at the wall! Graph has the ball measured, he scales the wall, and catches it! What a catch!”
“The next batter is the Integer’s shortstop Jon Cone. He may well be the best shortstop in the game. He doesn’t like to talk to the media because ellipse₂₇ and he is very self-conscious about it.
“Chuck, I did get a chance to have lunch earlier today with this nice gentleman. He seemed very articulate in his speech. He also told me that he keeps fresh and lively by taking at least one nappe₂₈ a week.”
“Well Howard, let’s hope he had that nappe today so he will be able to differentiate between Cal Culus’ good and bad pitches.”
“The first pitch to Cone is a curve and he slices it foul for strike one.”
“The second pitch is another curve and Cone takes it for a ball. The count is 1 and 1.”
“The third pitch is a curve and Cone hits one hard to short and Man Tissa gets a fraction₂₉ of it but will have no play.”
“The next beta₃₀ is their right fielder Mat Rices who is the prankster in their clubhouse. He really likes to pull pranks especially in May during what has been coined by his teammates as “May Tricks Month”. “
“The first pitch to Rices is a knuckleball which he hits on a short hop to Minnie Mum at first, who makes an easy play of it and steps on the bag to retire Rices and the integers. The Integers come up with no runs, no hits, one Rational error and one Integer left on. So with the Rationals coming to bat the score is 0 – 0.”
“Come to Grandma Shape Restaurants where the food is great, the PIs are even better and all at a fraction of the cost.” Go to a Grandma Shape Restaurant today, located in an area₃₠around you.
“We are back to start the bottom of the first. The Integers pitcher Max E. Mum has a good strong arm, and throws with good velocity₃₂. He lead the league in all pitching categories. He had a record of 30-2 with an ERA of 0.96. Today he is pitching on only 3 days rest but they hope that they can get the most out of his performance.”
“The first batter is Minnie Mum, why they lead off with him is beyond me. Minnie is last in the league in every category and can not hit the ball with any strength.”
“The first pitch by Max, is a high heater and Minnie waves at it for strike one.”
“The second pitch is another fastball about belt high on the outside corner that Minnie watches for strike two.”
“The third pitch is a slider on the inside corner that Minnie swings feebly at for strike three and the first out.”
“The next batter for the Rationals is Polly Nomial. This guy can really swing the old log. He is like a musician with it, he really gives that log rhythm₃₃.”
“Chuck, excuse me for interrupting but I had a talk with this man just yesterday and baseball is his life. I don’t think this guy could function₃₄ without baseball.”
“Thank you, Howard, for that insight into Nomial’s life. The first pitch by Max Mum is taken for a ball by Nomial.”
“The second pitch is a changeup, and Polly Nomial foils₃₅ this one into leftfield where Vector fields the ball and throws in back into second to hold Nomial to a single.”
“The next batter is the third baseman Fred Factor. This guy is the radical₃₆ one on the team. He has extremely long hair and as we might say… a real zest for the fast life.”
“The first pitch by Mum is hit on a bounce right into the glove of the third baseman Billy Ray who throws it on a tangent₃₇ to second baseman Axel Axis who turns, avoids a good take out play by Nomial and throws on a straight line to Pete Prime to complete the double play.”
Two hours and forty minutes later…
“What a matchup we have had. This game is the classic show of what baseball is all about. Here we are in the bottom of the ninth with the score deadlocked at 2, there are two out and no Rational on base. There is a three-two count on the batter Man Tissa.”
“Tissa has stepped out of the batter’s box to catch his breath during this penultimate₃₈ point in the game. While he has done that, I would like to point out Howard that there were a lot of groups visiting the ballpark today.”
“Yes, Chuck from the size of the crowd it looks like abelian₃₉ of them.”
“We did have a sellout crowd today Howard. With Man Tissa back in the box we are ready for the final pitch. The pitch by Mum is a fastball, looks like Tissa got a hold of it and sent it on a deep parabolaâ‚„â‚€, it’s back, still going, going, GONE! The Rationals win the pennant, the Rationals win the pennant. There is pandemonium here, the Rational fans are going irrational.”
“Chuck, it has been that way all season for the Rationals. Their fans have really done their fair square to rootâ‚„â‚, root, root for the home team. There is nothing negative about this dramatic win and season.”
BOX SCORE
INTEGERS |
AB |
R |
H |
RBI |
RATIONALS |
AB |
R |
H |
RBI |
PRIME |
3 |
1 |
1 |
2 |
M. MUM |
3 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
VECTOR |
4 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
NOMIAL |
3 |
0 |
1 |
0 |
CONE |
4 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
FACTOR |
4 |
1 |
1 |
0 |
RICES |
3 |
0 |
2 |
0 |
JUGATE |
4 |
0 |
2 |
1 |
RAY |
3 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
LAMBDA |
4 |
1 |
1 |
0 |
GEBRA |
4 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
CAND |
4 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
AXIS |
3 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
GRAPH |
4 |
0 |
1 |
1 |
VERTEX |
3 |
1 |
2 |
0 |
TISSA |
4 |
1 |
1 |
1 |
M.E. MUM |
3 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
CULUS |
3 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
TOTALS |
30 |
2 |
5 |
2 |
TOTALS |
36 |
3 |
7 |
3 |
Integers…………002 000 000 250
Rationals……….000 100 101 371
Two out when winning run scored
Game winning RBI- Tissa E- Tissa DP- Integers 1
Rationals 1 LOB- Integers 6 Rationals 5 2B- Rices,
Jugate, Lambda HR- Prime, Tissa
INTEGERS |
IP |
H |
R |
ER |
BB |
SO |
M.E. MUM |
8.7 |
7 |
3 |
3 |
2 |
6 |
RATIONALS |
|
|
|
|
|
|
CULUS |
9 |
5 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
T- 2:55 A- 61,357
GLOSSARY OF MATH TERMS