Parents and Teachers: Empathy and Excuses Are Not Equal

Sep 15, 2016 | Littleton

Struggling Kids feel Frustrated and Overwhelmed

Do you know a child who struggles in math, or another subject?  Sometimes kids who are struggling get so overwhelmed they stop giving that subject their best effort. As a parent or teacher who wants to see them succeed you may feel empathetic to their struggle but get frustrated with their lack of effort.

Empathy versus Excuse
Empathy means “The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.”  As adults we can empathize with the many feelings children experience that go along with math struggles. These feelings may include frustration, anger, overwhelm, self-doubt, and self-pity. Good ways to show empathy to the struggling child include: listening, asking follow-up questions, brainstorming solutions, spending quality time with them, and hugging them.

Excuse means “The release of someone of responsibility.” Don’t excuse the children from doing their math homework or getting good math grades at school. Never say, “Oh, that’s okay. Some people just aren’t too good at math” or “I was never any good at math either.” Those statements make the lack of skills seem permanent and unchangeable.

A child who gets excused from working hard in math will end up in a downward spiral. A lack of effort leads falling further behind. Falling further behind will further erode the child’s self-confidence.

Try saying, “I hear how frustrated you are. It must be so difficult to sit in math class and not understand what the teacher is saying. Let’s work together to solve this problem.” A child who gets both empathy and a push to work through the struggles will learn perseverance and get stronger math skills. When they eventually learn the material, they can look back on the experience to give them the confidence that they can conquer other challenges in math, and in life.

Working hard should be coupled with a strategy for success. Our no-risk assessment will let you know exactly in which areas your child needs extra help.  For more information about the importance of perseverance and attitude in math read these articles.

What Math Tests Reveal about Your Child
Mathnasium of Littleton Encourages Girls and Young Women to Pursue Stem Opportunities
Get Fit and Strong at the Mathnasium Math Gymnasium
Get Inspired by Olympians Wilma Rudolph, Jackie Joyner Kersee, and Cody Miller
Mindset: Encouraging Mathematical Reasoning and Creativity

Give us a call today 303-979-9077  to see if Mathnasium of Littleton can help your child set a plan in motion that gets them a strategy for working hard and having a successful attitude.


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