“It’s OK to Struggle”: 9 Things to Say When Your Kid Is Having a Math Meltdown (From One Mom to Another)

Apr 6, 2025 | Birmingham


Let’s face it: watching our kids struggle with math is rough. You see that scrunched forehead, the clenched pencil, the tears hovering in the corner of their eyes—and suddenly you’re spiraling too, wondering if this is the moment they’ll decide they “just aren’t a math person.” Been there. Deep breaths.

But here’s the good news: the words we say in these moments matter. A lot. We can’t solve the equations for them (and honestly, some of us gave up after long division), but we can build confidence, shift the mood, and remind our kids that struggling is part of learning.




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Here are some go-to phrases I keep in my back pocket for when math gets messy:


“It’s okay not to get it right away. That just means your brain is learning.”

Normalize the struggle. Let them know that learning math is like building a muscle—frustration is part of the process.


“I see how hard you’re trying. That’s what matters most.”

Effort over outcome, always. Praise the process. Even if their answer is off, their effort deserves celebration.


“Want to take a break and come back with a fresh brain?”

Sometimes math needs a little space. A snack, a walk, or a dance party can reset the vibe better than any flashcard ever could.


“Let’s figure this out together. You don’t have to do this alone.”

Offer support, not answers. Being in it together helps take the pressure off and builds trust.


“What part feels confusing?”

This one’s gold. It helps them slow down, pinpoint the issue, and feel less overwhelmed by the big picture.


“Mistakes are how we learn. Even grown-ups mess up!”

 Especially when trying to do sixth grade math without a calculator. Let them know that being wrong isn’t failing—it’s learning in action.


“You don’t have to get it perfect. You just have to try.”

Because perfectionism is sneaky, and it loves to hang out during math homework. Keep things low-pressure.


“Can you show me how you got that?”

Sometimes when kids explain it out loud, they catch their own mistake—or realize they knew more than they thought.


“I’m proud of you for sticking with it.”

Whether they finish the problem or not, that persistence? That’s the win. Say it loud and often.


At the end of the day, math is about so much more than numbers. It’s about problem-solving, resilience, and learning how to believe in yourself even when things are hard.

So the next time your kid’s about to toss their math workbook across the room, try one of these phrases. Then pour a coffee, offer a hug, and remember: you’re doing a great job, mama.

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