When a student is struggling in school, it isn’t always obvious. Reasons why kids aren’t forthcoming about when they’re having trouble can be varied: perhaps the child may be too scared to disappoint a parent or ask for help, or they may be trying to avoid what’s really going on in order in hopes that the problem will disappear or improve without focusing on correction. If you suspect that your child may be struggling in school, but they aren’t bringing it up at home, here are few signs that they might be in school distress and ways you can help them.
Disinterest in daily activities or interaction with others. When kids or people feel stressed out, one of the most common behaviors they participate in is withdrawing from that which they once found joy in. This is because fear makes us anxious and step back. Kids will check out and spend more time on distractions than they used to, things like video games, books or television. If a kid who was once more extroverted is now removing themselves from communication, and retreating from situations they once felt comfortable in, it could be a sign they are stressed out about something going on in school.
Trouble focusing. When your child has something stressful on their mind, it likely will prevent them from focusing on tasks completely. Often, falling behind in one subject in school doesn’t just mean that the student can’t focus on what’s being asked of them at home, falling behind in one subject can lead to falling behind in all or most subjects because of the inability to concentrate while in school and outside of school. Stress is school is compounded at that point.
Increased aggression or worry. When kids who are ordinary not aggressive or anxious start showing signs of these two behaviors, it’s often a sign that they feel helpless. Even though feelings of helplessness can originate from completely unrelated areas in their life, like getting behind in school, these feelings can rear themselves by kids becoming aggressing toward themselves other people an or animals, which is something to speak with a doctor about as well.
Trouble sleeping. Adults and children - everyone needs to sleep. There is lots of emphasis put on ways for adults to combat disrupted sleep patterns, but children can experience oversleeping, bed wetting and nightmares, which can all be signs of stress. School stress and unpredictability can both contribute to this. Setting up a routine that involves calming activities before bed and regularly talking about what is bothersome for children can help resolve their sleep issues.
Sudden and/or unexplained illness. Our bodies often react in ways that seem unrelated to what’s going in our lives. Kids who are experiencing stress might have headaches, stomach issues or skin rashes as a result of their body dealing with stress. These are all signs of illness and should be brought to a medical professional, but they can also be stress induced. Discussing possible signs of stress in your child with a doctor could help get to the root cause.
What can be done to help? The most important thing to do is to create a safe environment to make your child feel safe in. This means opening up communication and engaging with your child by asking questions in non-confrontational ways. Encourage them to keep participating in their regular routines and activities and listen to them without judging, but rather with an open mind, knowing that the main goal it to help them.
The next step is to figure out what is actually causing their patterns to change. Getting to the root cause will allow you to take steps toward progression in making your child more comfortable and like themselves again. You can set up a plan together for how to get out of the stressful situation and stop the fear that’s causing them to behave differently.
Have you ever heard the saying “it takes a village to raise a child”? This is one of those instances where it might be beneficial to bring in others who are a part of your child’s community to help. One of best ways to resolve issues that might be going on is to talk with your child’s teacher or principal. You’re in a partnership with your child’s educational team and working together might give you a fuller perspective of what’s going on. If the stress is, indeed, coming from falling behind in their classes or studies, reaching out to tutors, tutorial centers (Mathnasium of Parker would love to help!) or experts who can help your child will be a huge step in resolving the stress. Evaluating after school routines is another way to improve academic stress. Is there a specific time your child can sit down and do homework? Is there a non-distracting place they can work? Do they have adequate resources to go to when they need help?
Lastly, leaving issues like the aforementioned untreated or unresolved can have lasting negative impacts on a child. Please don’t be afraid to bring any of these up to medical professionals. The sooner parents can spot the signs of stress in a child, the sooner the child will be able to move forward to let their best self shine!
