Polly was trying to make slime but didn’t get the ratio of ingredients quite right. She ended up with a gloppy mess. She was frustrated and tears welled up in her eyes, but her mom resisted jumping in to fix it.
Why do nothing when Polly made mistakes making slime? Her mom knows shielding her daughter from “failure” is not a healthy approach to life. In fact, allowing children to challenge themselves beyond their current capabilities is a key ingredient to growth. Myriad articles and studies can be found documenting the relationship between failure and growth. In fact many renowned leaders, athletes and entrepreneurs point to a supposed failure that eventually led to their phenomenal success.
Children who easily get the right answers in math class daily are probably not working up to their potential. That very lack of challenge may lead to boredom and eventually diminish a child’s confidence in their ability to learn difficult math or erode their love of math steering them toward educational and career decisions that don't involve math. A little bit of frustration and an occasional wrong answer are positive signs that your child is being sufficiently challenged.
The more your children challenge themselves, the more likely they are to experience frustration and a few “failures.” Overcoming those moments produce growth and confidence. Watching your children struggle is tough, but helping your child too much and too soon may send the message that you are not confident in their abilities to solve the problem independently. It is tricky to find the right balance between allowing a child to push through to solve the problem independently and not allowing them to get completely discouraged.
Model and Practice Growing from Setbacks
Our children learn by watching and listening to us. If they see you working through challenges, they will learn that persistence or “grit” pays off. If you give them opportunities to “fail” in a safe emotional environment, they will realize that a botched attempt is a stepping-stone on the path to success.
Polly had plenty of success with her slime after her failed attempt. After taking a moment to regain her composure, she threw her gloppy mess away. She consulted her slime recipe and started over. She learned she had to get the proportions right and asked for help measuring each ingredient. She was proud of herself for making slime and learning the importance of measuring.
Mathnasium of Parker Supports Learning to Succeed
We use assessments to make sure students get math problems hard enough to challenge them, but not so hard as to discourage them. Our instructors are available to help students who need it, but do not hover over a child. This approach gives students the chance to solve challenging problems independently, but not give up.
For more articles about persistence and confidence in math read these other articles.
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